


You’re Not Alone

by HallowsEve1031



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex-centric, Blood and Violence, I made Alex suffer, I need help, If I think of anything Ill tag, Im so sorry this is very dark, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Luke and Reggie are good boyfriends, M/M, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Violence, im new to this, im not sure what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:22:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HallowsEve1031/pseuds/HallowsEve1031
Summary: What if Alex was sexually assaulted in the past and Luke and Reggie knew and then when Alex is walking to the studio after getting into it with his mother about him being gay he was sexually assaulted by a stranger and that caused him to shut off? (They’re all alive, not dead and ghosts).———By the way, I’m very sorry that this is really dark. My mind is very dark and comes up with horrible things. This is me getting my feelings out, even if I’m making my favorite character suffer.
Relationships: Alex & Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Reggie/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 125





	1. “We’ve Got You When You’re Feeling Low”

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Rape/Non-Con Elements. Self-Harm. Implied/Referenced Homophobia. Violence.
> 
> Please read the tags before you read this fic!
> 
> I’m a very very dark writer, and I’m nervous about publishing this. No hate, please.

Walking down the street, the boy was lost in thought. His parents would constantly ask him why he was sinning. He had gotten into an argument with his mother about a brochure he had found; it was information about conversion camp. His feet was carrying him to the studio, where Reggie and Luke were camping out, Luke having ran away from his parents and Reggie’s constantly fighting. Since he was so lost in thought, he didn’t notice a man walking up to him until he was pushed into a nearby alley way and forced up against a wall. Automatically freezing, he tried to calm himself. The position he was in was all too familiar and it caused him to get a sick feeling. Looking up, he stared at the man before him.

“What is a cute boy like you doing all alone at night?” The stranger asked, pressing said boy against the wall of the alley way harder, with his hips. His hands sprawled out on the wall beside Alex’s head, caging him in. No escape, unless...

Alex gave a slight whimper, hating this position as it brought back memories.

“I was walking to my friends,” he replied softly. “Please let me go.”

“Why should I?” The man asked, a sick smirk appearing on his face. “I just caught a decent prey.”

That was when Alex kneed the man in the balls and made to get away. The man gave a yelp but quickly recovered and lunged for the escaping boy. He tackled said boy to the ground, forcing him on his back and holding his hands above his head in a bruising grip.

“Sugar, you just made a big mistake,” he snarled before punching Alex in the face. Rendering the boy stunned, the man produced a bandana from his back pocket and tied it around Alex’s head and forced it into his mouth so he couldn’t scream for help. The man then went about undressing Alex, leaving him completely naked in an alley way.

“No...” Alex tried to say. “Please don’t.”

“Sorry, can’t hear you!” The man cackled before holding the boys hands above his head in a bruising grip once more and attacking the boys neck with his mouth, licking and sucking, leaving hickeys in his wake. Then without warning, a finger prodded his hole and Alex screamed as pain shot throughout him. After the finger fucked in and out, it was replaced by something bigger and thicker prodding at his hole and that caused Alex to freeze.

_No no no_ , Alex thought with indubitable fear. _Not again! I’m not even prepared enough! Oh god no_ —

His patronizing thoughts were interrupted by him screaming as the mans thick cock was forced into him. He sobbed as he was thrusted into, the man going a brutal speed. Hands were grabbing his waist and holding him bruisingly as his body was forced to meet the mans thrusts. Alex continued to sob, even more when he felt liquid trickling out and that’s when he knew. The man had made him bleed within and was using his own blood as lube. Alex just laid there, allowing the man to rape him as he tried to think of something happy. But that didn’t happen. All Alex did was have flashbacks to when he was raped the first time. Time seemed to go slow until he felt the sadly familiar feeling of his attackers come being shot into him. He allowed the man to pull out, not even moving.

”Thanks for the fuck, doll face,” said the man before sauntering away as if he hadn’t just raped a 17-year-old.

Laying there for a minute, Alex then took the bandana out of his mouth and threw it, sobbing. He forced himself to sit up and cried out in pain as it hurt. Gritting his teeth, he gathered up his clothes and stood before redressing himself. His clothes were rumpled and his hair was wild. Bruises littered his body; neck, waist, hips, and thighs. Apparently at some point the man tried to choke him, because he just knew there was a bruise around his throat. He had a cut on his cheek and a split lip from the punch the man had delivered to his face.

It was like his feet were on autopilot because when he did manage to get out of his head, he was standing in front of the doors to the studio. He could hear Luke and Reggie speaking. Limping to the door, he grabbed it and opened it. His lifeless eyes stared at his best friends before him, vaguely noticing Luke and Reggie glance up at him and their eyes widening. A flinch he involuntarily did was resulted when the boys had jumped to their feet and were rushing towards him, causing both boys to freeze.

“Alex?” The broken boy quietly heard. He didn’t answer as he limped inside and went to the corner, sitting down with a soft whine and a wince before hugging his knees to his chest and staring ahead at the floor. He noticed out of his peripherals as Luke and Reggie slowly walked over to him and kneeled down in front of him, not touching him.

“Alex, what happened?” He heard a soft voice ask; Reggie. Alex finally looked up and he saw the deep concern within Luke and Reggie’s eyes. They were startled when Alex let out a sudden sob and cowered more into the corner. That’s when they noticed the bruises on his wrist, over his self-inflicted wounds. His hoodie sleeves has fallen down a bit when he had wrapped his arms around his knees, displaying his bruised wrists. Good thing his neck was covered by his hoodie. The self-inflicted wounds they knew about because he had started doing that when he was raped the first time. He managed to stop but had a relapse after the whole coming out to his parents thing. They didn’t kick him out but they did start abusing him and calling him awful slurs.

“Alex,” Luke urged softly. “What happened?” The eldest was trying to keep his calm.

“I was walking down the street,” Alex finally relented quietly. Luke and Reggie had to strain their ears to be able to hear what he was saying. “There was this man and he jumped me. He—umm—he—“ Alex broke off with a sob, unhooking himself and falling into the first available lap, which was Reggie’s. Reggie held onto him tightly as the poor boy sobbed into his chest. Luke and Reggie had a firm grasp on what exactly happened.

“Why did this happen to me?” Alex sobbed out painfully. “Again?!”

“I don’t know,” Reggie said softly, giving Luke a sad look when the boy started gently running his fingers through Alex’s soft blonde hair.

“You’re here now,” Luke whispered out softly. “You’re with us. Just let it all out.”

Alex did just that, sobbing loudly into Reggie’s chest until he had fallen asleep. He trusted his boyfriends to watch out for him.

“Luke, go get him some clothes from our bag?” Reggie asked softly. “He needs to change. I’m gonna ask him if he wants to change himself or if he wants us too.”

“Okay,” Luke said before disappearing to the loft.

“Hey buddy,” Reggie said softly as he ran his hand through Alex’s hair. “Wake up real quick.” Alex stirred and looked up blearily at him. “Do you want to change clothes or do you want us to change your clothes?” Alex flinched and Reggie cursed himself.

“Ca-can I change myself?” Alex asked softly and sighed a relief sigh when Reggie gave an instant nod. Helping the boy up, Reggie guided him to the bathroom they had in the studio, customer with a toilet, a sink, and a shower.

“Take a shower and then get changed,” Reggie told Alex softly as Luke came with a change of clothes; dark grey sweatpants, black hoodie, black socks, and underwear. “We’ll be right outside.”

With that they let Alex be. Alex took off all his clothes and started the shower before getting in. He let the hot water burn him as he leaned against the wall and sobbed. Once he cleaned himself, he got out and dried himself off. Slipping on all the clothes, he then left the bathroom. Alex didn’t dare look at himself in the mirror. He limped himself to the couch and laid down on it, head in Luke’s lap and feet in Reggie’s. A blanket (his favorite blanket) was draped over him and he was out in seconds.


	2. “Hold On I Still Want You”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Alex being sexually assaulted a second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self-Harm. Descriptive. Implied/Referenced Rape/non-con. Implied/Referenced Child Abuse. Implied/Referenced Homophobia. Implied/Referenced Homophobic Language.
> 
> This chapter is just as dark as the first one.
> 
> I am by no means a medical professional so please keep that in mind.
> 
> I listened to Hold On by Chord Overstreet when writing this chapter. That is the chapter title, a line from the song.

When he woke up, he was sore, his eye throbbed and his lip stung. He was curled up between Reggie and Luke; his head still in Luke’s lap and feet still in Reggie’s. Both were asleep, and they didn’t look quite comfortable but they didn’t dare want to move Alex one bit. Alex got up, careful not to disturb them, and limped to the bathroom. He had the urge to self harm and he couldn’t stop the thoughts racing through his mind and kept having flashbacks to last night.

Fresh tears fell down his face and he moved on autopilot. Grabbing the razor that he had hidden from the other two, he closed and locked the bathroom door. He sat, his back against the tub, and rolled up his sleeves. One slice, he winced. Another slice and then another until there were five deep slashes across his wrist. He rested the hand with the razor on the floor as he stared dazed at the blood seeping from his wrist and falling to the floor.

He vaguely heard Luke and Reggie pounding on the door and flinched when the distinct sound of the door being broken resounded through the bathroom. He looked up as Reggie and Luke quickly made their way to him. Alex didn’t stop them as Luke put pressure on his wrists to stop the bleeding. Reggie quickly grabbed a towel and passed it to Luke who replaced his hands with that. Alex tried to listen in to what Reggie and Luke were talking about but he was still in his high and didn’t feel like coming down one bit. When he did, he heard Luke yelling at him.

“‘m sorry,” he mumbled. “‘m so s’rry.”

“Luke, don’t yell,” Reggie told Luke seriously before turning to Alex. “Alex, what happened? We thought you stopped.”

“I wanted the flashbacks to stop,” Alex sobbed out as he started to cry. “They won’t fucking stop! I keep seeing both of them! I keep seeing the first time I was raped and the second time. I keep seeing my parents cornering me and calling me slurs and them beating me until I physically can’t move. I managed to stop cutting a few months after I was raped the first time and then when the abuse started I started cutting again and now here I am. I can’t escape my parents because they’ll call the police.”

Reggie and Luke gave a soft sigh.

“Alex,” Luke said softly. “Just breathe. Take a breath and calm down, babe. We got you. They don’t know where you are. You’re safe here. We’re gonna help you. You got me and Reg and we aren’t leaving you, ever.”

Alex sniffled and nodded.

“I have the first aid kit,” Reggie said softly. “Let’s clean your wounds and patch you up. Can we do that?”

Alex nodded but didn’t say anything else, nor did he move. Luke slowly took off the towel over the boys cuts and watched as Reggie sat down on the ground beside him. Taking Alex’s arm carefully, he looked up at Alex.

“This is gonna hurt,” Reggie warned softly.

“Just do it,” Alex muttered, not looking at his two boyfriends.

Reggie gave a nod and proceeded to gently dab the cuts with an alcohol-free wipe. Completed, he then grabbed a pad of tissues he had in the kit and dried the wound. The wound became dry and he grabbed a non-adhesive pad with a bandage and placed it over the wounds and taped the edges down. He wrapped gauze around the non-adhesive pad and plastered the gauze so it wouldn’t slip. (I looked up how to clean cuts on Google because I’m not a medical expert). Once completed with cleaning Alex’s cuts, Reggie cleaned up the trash and packed the kit back up and stood up, putting it away and throwing the bloody towel into the hamper to be washed later. Alex needed him right now. Turning back to Alex, he kneeled down beside him once more and gently rolled his sleeve down. The bloody razor was still laying limply between his left thumb and pointer finger so Reggie reached for it and got it out of Alex’s reach.

“Do you have any more razors?” Reggie asked softly.

Giving a hesitant nod, Alex pointed to the top drawer of the counter. “There’s a secret compartment,” he whispered. “They’re in there.”

Luke got up and fetched the razors, giving a sigh when he saw one that had dried up blood on it. After grabbing the one Reggie took from Alex, he left silently to throw the razors in the trash and then made his way back to Alex and Reggie. He watched as Reggie was trying to get Alex to stand.

“Be careful of the blood on the ground,” Luke said softly as he helped grab Alex softly and steered him to the couch. “Lay down here and sleep. You need sleep.” Alex didn’t even argue, just giving a content sigh when he felt his favorite blanket be draped over him. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. Luke made his way back to the bathroom to help Reggie clean the floor, spotting said boy sobbing silently. Without a word, Luke embraced the poor boy into his arms and they cried together.

“These cuts were so deep,” Reggie whispered once he managed to stop crying. “If they bleed anymore, he may need stitches.”

“I know, baby,” Luke said softly, gently kissing Reggie’s forehead. “Right now he needs us strong. Let’s go cuddle with him.”

Luke and Reggie walked back to Alex, giving a soft smile when they saw him curled up. Luke and Reggie took the edge, situating Alex to where his head was in Reggie’s lap and his feet were in Luke’s. Reggie and Luke both didn’t want to fall asleep because they were afraid that Alex would harm himself again. Neither of them got any sleep that night.


	3. "... Not Anymore"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic depiction of self-harm wounds. That's it, I believe. If I missed any, let me know!
> 
> \----
> 
> This is the last chapter!

Reggie and Luke watched Alex as he slept, worry seeping within the two. It was obvious that the blonde wasn’t sleeping easy; moving around and even whimpering in his sleep. Reggie hated having to wake up Alex but he needed to check on the boy's arm.

“Hey buddy,” Reggie said softly, gently shaking Alex. Reggie backed up when Alex jumped up, watching as the blonde gasped for breath and looked around. “Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you up but I have to check on your wrists. Is that okay?”

The blonde mutely held out his arms, allowing Reggie to slide up his hoodie sleeves to reveal the gauze around his wrists. Reggie grabbed ahold of the pliant blonde’s wrists and gently undid the gauze, revealing angry red slashes. Reggie grabbed the supplies needed to clean the cuts that Luke had gotten while he was waking up Alex and got to work on cleaning the cuts. He sighed when he noticed that Alex didn’t even flinch, assuming that Alex went straight into his head, which his assumption was right. Alex couldn’t stop thinking about how he roped Luke and Reggie into his mess.

“Hey,” Luke said, snapping his fingers in Alex’s face. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop. We love you and we’re here. You’re not alone, not anymore.”

Alex looked up at the two and gave a sad smile, tears silently streaming down his face.

Alex barely said anything in the next couple of weeks, just nodded, shook his head, or shrugged. He was still suffering from flashbacks of the assault. He felt the urge to self-harm every day but was able to struggle through the urge and resist. He was able to live his life even after something brutal happened to him and he was so grateful for his two boyfriends, Luke and Reggie. They never left his side and always helped him. He may be self-conscious about his scars but after a year of being clean from harming, he found he loved his scars. They show that he went through some rough things in his life and survived. He wasn’t alone and never felt alone again.


End file.
